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2:55 p.m. - 2004-09-23
Cat Fight!
Cat Fight

This apparently happened last night in ghetto land. However, I heard none of this, because it was on the opposite side of my building. BFRB got an eye-and-earful, though. This tale features underage drinking, theft, women fighting, and the competence we've come to expect from the Oklahoma City Police.

Apparently, the ruckus began about 11:45 p.m. BFRB was watching Oprah and playing on the computer. After muting the sound on the TV, BFRB looks out her window. Four girls in a Blazer-type vehicle were harassing two girls walking to their car. Many allegations were made, most of which contained the words "white trash." The two girls approach the SUV, the chicks in the SUV take off their shoes and jewelry, and the fight begins, complete with rolling on the ground, hair pulling, screaming, and yelling. They would take breaks and start back up. Of course, they have an audience of about a half-dozen horny young white boys. Break up the fight? Don't be silly. They'd have to pay for this shit on the internet later…..

Well, on about Round 3 of Chick Fight 2004, the neighbors come out to watch. Most of these are young black men.

One of the girls who had not yet reached her vehicle had a purse. When she picked it up, everything fell out, and then she kept dropping it on the ground so that she could continue to smack one of the other chicks around. Finally, one of our friendly neighbors walks over, grabs the purse, picks up the contents, and calmly walks back across the street. BFRB screams out the window for him to give the purse back. He of course pretends he doesn't know what purse she's talking about and says that he's just waiting on his crack dealer…I mean friend. So he casually walks back over toward the girls, and before he drops the purse, he grabs the wallet. At this point, BFRB tells the bar boys watching the fight that the other guy just swiped the wallet…and their wussy asses don't want to mess with the boyz in our hood. BFRB asks them to tell the chick, because she clearly has no problem getting in someone's face. They ignore her.

About this time, BFRB runs downstairs, and tells the guys and girls they better get going before cops show up…she can tell that each and every one of these little drunks is underage. They start getting all indignant and telling her that they only have to be 19 to get in the bar. Well, yes, kids, but the legal drinking age is still 21. Of course, they ignore her. The girls in the SUV cruise off, though, right before 6 cars carrying Oklahoma City's finest arrive. BFRB tells the cop about the purse-snatcher, and four cars leave. Then, another neighbor comes downstairs, and tells BFRB about 3 times that she's the one who called the police. The cops talk to everyone, take down some names, stick the girls in the police car for a while, but don't appear to actually arrest anyone. Maybe they felt sorry for the girl who got her wallet stolen. Of course, the four heavily armed officers could not track down one scrawny little drug abuser.

Finally, everyone disperses, and BFRB and our neighbor are talking. They agree that our neighborhood pretty much sucks big purple donkey dicks from the sky, but we'll never move. We should, however, invest in a video camera. We could make a shitload of money selling footage to "Girls Gone Wild" and "COPS." Then maybe we could afford to live somewhere besides next door to a 19-to-enter, serve anyone, beer-only, white-trash dive.



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