Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

9:31 a.m. - 2004-11-08
Streaks and Smudges
Last night, I was pondering writing an entry, but decided I'd much rather play Jewel Quest. Also, I couldn't really think of anything to say that wasn't completely random and spastic. Then I remembered: I'm always that way in my entries, so why change now? Hehehe.

First, the miscellaneous thoughts I had last night:

-I don't think anyone has ever fought a war for Buddhism. Maybe that's because they're not following a "god"…and it's all about finding your inner peace.

-Am I the only person who finds the whole situation in Iraq ironic? Let's think. The insurgents are religious fundamentalists. Our country is being run by a religious fundamentalist. They are taking away rights in our country (i.e., the right to marry the person of your choice, the right to choose, freedom of speech via the Patriot Act, etc.), but we're allegedly fighting a war because the people there need to be free. Gotta love hypocrisy.

That will be all the politics and religion for today. Of course, I could go off for days. But I pretty much already have, and it's Monday, and I'm too tired to be ranting and raving. Just cannot summon the energy this early in the day. I'm sure everyone is SO disappointed….

Now, on to musings of a more personal nature…

I thought you were supposed to outgrow "phases" when you were a kid. I have not. I am one streaky bitch. I will eat the same food for weeks on end. Doesn't matter what it is…this week it was Lean Cuisine Santa Fe Style Beans and Rice. I've been known to visit the same drive-thru twice a day for two weeks. (That would be Taco Bueno, when they had the 10-Layer Frito Salad.) I blame this weird food thing on my mother. See, when the folks got divorced, my mom rebelled a little. Since my dad was one of those "traditional" kind of guys, he wanted dinner on the table every night…and of course, my mom would be the one responsible for making it appear. So, when we moved out, we ate at the same Mexican restaurant at LEAST four times a week for the next six months. Seriously. The waitress would act surprised if we didn't order the same thing every day.

Unfortunately, the streakiness doesn't stop at food. I will want to wear the same outfits for weeks on end (to the point I forget I have other clothes), listen to the same CD over and over, play the same video game, read the same authors….then all at once, I'll get sick of whatever it is and not touch it again for months.

I have wracked my brain trying to decide what makes me do this. All I can think of is that it's the two sides of my brain at war with one another. The creative-thinking, free-spirited side wants variety and new experiences, but the logical-rational-safe-secure side wants predictability and routine. It's one thing to rebel against authority, which I have made into an art form. But rebelling against myself?

I guess it does have its good points. I rediscover things all the time….music, books, food, activities, clothing…and remember either (a) why I really liked them or (b) why I quit eating/wearing/doing whatever. Perhaps this is my way of entertaining myself. That sounds good. That sounds much better than my alternate explanation, which is just that I am a complete freaky weirdo who needs my medication adjusted.



previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!