1:43 p.m. - 2004-11-10
You see, once upon a time, Loopy got a new office mate. Loopy's new office mate has a video game addiction which rivals Loopy's own. Loopy's office mate downloads a game called Jewel Quest. So does Loopy. Said game has five levels (with multiple sub-levels) and you have to beat them FIVE times to win. Loopy has applied herself to this task with great diligence for a while. But, due to Loopy's somewhat streaky nature, she kind of forgot it existed. Until this week.
So, last night, after watching "America's Biggest Loser," eating her usual dinner of microwave popcorn and string cheese, and farting around on Diaryland, Loopy opens Jewel Quest once again. She has reached the fifth go-round, and is about halfway through Level 3. Sleep? Who needs sleep?
After Loopy's eyes finally refuse to stay open (around 1 a.m., perhaps), Loopy slips into a fitful sleep marked with very weird dreams involving an ex-boyfriend and some ex-friends. Therefore, she felt very justified in once again letting the snooze button win this morning.
Finally, after much whining from the kitties, and after much personal whining, Loopy drags her ass out of bed, flips on the coffee pot, and lights a cigarette. And resumes the game. At 7:40, Loopy abruptly realizes that she is supposed to be to work in 20 minutes. Rapid shower. Dripping hair. Not even combed. Fuck it.
Due to the cold raininess of the day, Loopy makes GID take her to eat some yummy Chinese buffet food. Loopy realizes, once comfortably ensconced in her office chair, that Chinese food makes her even more sleepy than the rain and the Jewel Quest marathon and the weird dreams.
Therefore, Loopy decided to type the story of her otherwise boring day in an attempt to keep from getting drool in the keyboard.
Gee, that didn't waste nearly enough time. So let's talk about my new plan to get on America's Biggest Loser. Yeah, okay, I've been hanging in there on my own, but the prospect of having someone bug the shit out of me and the possibility of winning $250,000 is just too tempting to pass up.
However, I have to make a videotape. Okay, sure. I'll just yank that video camera right out of my ass, mmkay? None of my friends have them either. People with kids have video cameras. The people without kids who have them sure as hell are not going to admit it, because they are probably using it for Do-It-Yourself Porn, and they would like to spare their friends the mental pictures.
BFRB did say our neighbor has one, but then, he is kind of (okay, completely) full of shit, so we'll see if he really does.
If I can't find one, maybe they will have a casting call in my area. I mean, this is one of the fattest states in the U.S., surely they will have one here, right? Probably not.
I can't believe I'm even considering this. I hate reality TV. I would rather eat broken glass and wash it down with Drano than watch most of this shit, and being on most of them…well, let's just say that there's not enough money for that. However, I'm justifying myself here by saying that it's something I'm working on anyway and why not get $250,000 out of the deal? Zackly.
Jewel Quest is still downloaded on this computer. If I were a good little worker bee, I would uninstall it. That's what I will do.
(Loopy falls out of chair, laughing.)