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1:32 p.m. - 2004-11-17
The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow...Yeah, and Monkeys Might Fly Out My Ass

Well, it's Wednesday. It's still gray and rainy. And I'm still cranky. It doesn't matter what I try to do the last few days…nothing quite goes as planned.

Laundry was originally scheduled for Sunday. BFRB and I finally went….last night. In the rain. While we were running errands, as usual, we went to Target. Or should I say, The Store Which Purports to Have Everything But in Fact Does Not Have Shit. Conditioner? Nope. Mountain Dew? Not the right quantity. Slim Fast? Wrong flavors. Granola Bars? Wrong flavors. Cute monkey PJ's? Wrong size. Ear warming band? Men's (and it was in the women's department). Indigo Girls CD? Not even one. I did buy a cool stripedy scarf for $5, and some workout shorts for $3.74 per pair and some Slim-Fast bars on the off chance I might decide to stick to my diet one of these days.

This morning, I actually manage to get my ass out the door mostly on time. Curses, foiled again. I walk to my car, and parked next to it is a BIG FUCKING TRUCK whose driver is a LITTLE FUCKING MAN with a LITTLE FUCKING PENIS. It's parked so close to my car that even if I could manage to open the driver's side door, my fat ass certainly could not squeeze through the three-inch crack. So I go knock on his door (he owns a business which is below my apartments). He was nice about moving it, but there went any possibility of being on time.

I was planning to work through lunch, and eat a Lean Cuisine. First, forgot the food. Second, GEB called & was broke, so I ended up buying him lunch too. He did bring me a present (shot glasses and a recipe book). And a book which he handily used his employee discount to purchase for me. Guess I can't bitch too much. Well, I can, but I'll choose not to….

I have no further items of interest to report. I do have a survey, though. It's all over the place, but my personal inspiration was irishblueyes.

If I were a month I would be: December

If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday

If I were a time of day I would be: 3 am

If I were a planet I would be: Venus

If I were a direction I would be: North

If I were a piece of furniture I would be: Rolltop desk with lots of secret compartments

If I were a liquid I would be: Jack Daniels

If I were a tree, I would be: Weeping willow

If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Opium Poppy

If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Thunderstorm

If I were a mythical creature, I would be: Athena. Oh wait, it said creature, not goddess, dammit. Then I'll have to go with the Hydra.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Baby grand piano

If I were a color, I would be: Brick Red

If I were an emotion, I would be: Confusion

If I were a vegetable, I would be: Corn

If I were a car, I would be: Prowler

If I were a song, I would be: Tori Amos – "Purple People"

If I were a book, I would be written by: Pat Conroy

If I were a food, I would be: Chocolate cake with white icing

If I were a place, I would be: Austin, Texas

If I were a material, I would be: Cashmere

If I were a taste, I would be: Sweet at first, with a spicy kick

If I were a scent, I would be: Vanilla Cinnamon

If I were a religion, I would be: Buddhism

If I were a body part I would be: Eyes

If I were a subject in school I would be: Music

If I were a shape I would be: Sphere

If I were a number I would be: 1

Shouldn't it be Friday by now?



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