11:48 p.m. - 2004-11-22
No, he's not really taking it out on me. However, tonight marks the THIRD time we have discussed Thanksgiving....and my plans have not changed since the FIRST time.
See, here's the deal. I usually go visit my father (who lives in the Seattle area) over turkey day. However, last year's trip was miserable. I went for a week, and wanted to come home after 2 days. There are lots of issues at daddy's house. He was a completely verbally abusive dick when I was a child. He's pretty much stopped doing that...to me. Instead, he does it to my stepmother, her mother (who lives with them), and his stepson when available. Granted, the stepbrother redefines annoying, but still. The other shit is just uncalled for. If he is that miserable, why the hell are they married?
But I digress....
The point is, this year, I decided I'm not freaking spending the holidays at the airport. I am 30 years old. I have gone to one parent or the other or some other relative's house every year since I moved away from home (at age 18). I've had it. My father has not been here to visit SINCE I WAS IN COLLEGE. EIGHT YEARS AGO. We discussed all this via e-mail, and he seemed to be under the misguided impression that I'd rather get out of town. Well, maybe. But not if it means spending a week of my precious vacation time, which needs to be devoted to relaxation, in an environment which would make Iraq look calm and soothing.
I am pretty much stuck going to mommy's for Christmas, but that's not usually quite as bad. Granted, the stepparent on that end is a pain in the ass, but getting to hang with my mom and brother and sister-in-law makes up for that. Plus, there are gifts involved. That makes a difference.
Yeah, okay, where was I before I decided to take a little mini-trip to Dysfunction Island? GID. Right. Anyway, once he discovered that I would be in town over the holidays, he acted like I'm supposed to spend them with him. Beep, wrong, thank you for playing. What, I avoid my dysfunctional family & go hang out with his? Sure, that sounds like a great idea...about as great, in fact, as topping a Drano milkshake with broken glass sprinkles.
When I'm in town over holidays, I have a standing invitation for dinner with my favorite gay uncles. PL is an attorney, and I used to work for him. It was always part-time/after hours, but nonetheless, we established a rapport. I love him. He really is like a father figure...the kind I wished I had. His partner, EM, is hilarious. He's never met a stranger. They are polar opposites, but they have a great relationship. And they can both cook like mad demons. So can all their friends and family. I get leftovers to take home, and the best food I've had in months, and nice, civilized, non-psycho conversation. I'm so going to their house.
Well, GID apparently does not like my plans. I told him (three times, now) that I would hang out with him later that night. We could go to a movie, or whatever. He won't really be awake and functioning before then anyway. But he keeps HARPING on this shit. Three words: get over it. And of course, he's never heard of going to the movies on Thanksgiving night. I thought everyone knew about that. That's when the new movies come out.
That's the problem with him, you see. It's like sometimes, I wonder what rock he's been under for the last 10 years. The whole apartment ordeal has reminded me of talking to BFRB2's nieces/baby sister about getting their first apartments. They are late teens/early twenties. GID is my age. I'm just so confused. I don't see how anyone who is an adult can have this few life skills. It boggles my mind.
Sigh. It would be so much easier to rid myself of this nonsense if I weren't getting satisfactorily laid on a regular basis. I'm trying to justify this relationship with the "but I'm not being all weird about it" theory. However, when he does crap like this Thanksgiving guilt trip, it still irritates me. It makes me stay awake until midnight when I was tired two hours ago.