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10:29 a.m. - 2004-11-29
Back to Life, Back to Reality
Perhaps someone out there can answer a question for me. What in the FUCK would a guy be doing in the morning that would require turning the water on and off about 47 times (that is not an exaggeration, either).

Okay. I'm one of these strange people who prefers my shower to be a consistent temperature, and that said temperature be hot enough that my skin is pinkish when I get out. Apparently, this is too much to ask. There was actually plenty of hot water for a change, but my fucking neighbor kept turning on the faucet, turning off the faucet, turning on the faucet, flushing the toilet, etc. during my shower this morning.

It's not like I was in there for a week, either. I mean we're talking this was the Speedy Gonzales version of the shower. Wash hair, wash body, rinse all, exit shower. Only this morning, it was wash face, jump out of water stream which has suddenly become ice cold, rinse face in scalding water stream, wet hair, work shampoo into luxurious lather, stick head back under shower, screech like banshee when realize temperature of water resembles that of Arctic Ocean in January, wait (with soap dripping in eyes) until water reaches scalding temperature again, quickly remove shampoo from hair, wash remaining body parts, once again wait until shower temperature can be endured by something other than penguin, rinse, exit shower rapidly.

At this point, I'm thinking that he must be brushing his teeth, washing his face, and shaving. However, the water on/off routine continued the whole time I was getting ready…the water turned on and off four times while I was putting on my mascara. I just don't get it. And if this is going to be an everyday thing, I'm going to have to get up earlier…which, of course, makes me about as happy as a gynecological exam.

Let me also state, for the record, that Mondays suck, especially the Monday after you've been out of the office for four days. The printer is not working, the boss is on the deadline warpath, and it's fucking raining again. At least it was sunny for a few days, and they were the days I was not at work.

The long weekend was so weird. Thursday and Friday, I didn't do shit. Saturday and Sunday, I ran my butt off. It was fun stuff, mostly…which is good, because stuff that's not fun intruding on my time to get in touch with my Inner Three-Toed Sloth makes me most perturbed. I just feel like the whole thing was so surreal and didn't really happen. Maybe it's that I didn't go anywhere this year, which is odd for me…but I feel like I have been on a planet far, far away.

How long till we get another long weekend, again?



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