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2:49 p.m. - 2005-01-20
Shapeless Lumps and Big Brass Ones

NOTE: As I'm sure I will read in countless other diaries today, this was supposed to be posted last night, and all events described herein happened yesterday.

Does it count as a hobby if you suck at it?

The reason I ask is, I'm trying to learn to crochet. But seriously, even though the shapeless lumps are slightly less lumpy, they are still nowhere near anything useful (i.e., blanket, scarf, hat, pet garment). And if I think about telling someone that's one of my hobbies (the others being such exciting things as reading, listening to music, playing video games, and surfing the internet), I am forcibly reminded of that scene in Good Morning, Vietnam when that dorky guy tells Robin Williams' character that comedy is his hobby.

I have been such a good little diet and exerciser this week, you would think I had actually made some sort of New Year's Resolution. Gym every morning for cardio, and weights last night and tonight.

(Did you catch that? That was GYM, twice in one DAY, TWO DAYS IN A ROW. What the hell is wrong with me??)

Work sucks this week. For real. I'm so tired of this bitch whose records I'm reviewing, and I have two and a half more big-ass notebooks full of them. I'm praying that the third volume mostly is duplicates of the second.

Speaking of praying, Jesus's right-hand woman (hereinafter "JRHW") represented for her cause in the parking garage today.

As I was walking out of my building, a homeless guy startled me a little when he loudly asked me for money. After I told him I didn't have any (which is my standard response), I proceeded across the street to fetch my ride. He followed me. And he has a captive audience, because we're all waiting for the irresponsible and stupid little garage people to bring our cars to us.

He sits next to JRHW, and proceeded to ask her for a quarter. She told him she didn't have one. He then reduced his demand to a dime. She said she didn't have one of those either, but she'd be happy to pray for him. To her credit, I don't think she meant right then and there. He sure as hell did, though. He knelt down at her feet, and she prayed for each of his body parts (NO not that one) to be anointed so the Lord could work through him. She closed the prayer by asking God to send this man a dime.

Once he got off his knees, he continued to try to converse. This is where I have to give JRHW some serious props. She tells him, "you know, a woman in my office is afraid of you. Now why do you think that is?" And he just says, "everybody's scared of something."

Guess that's true.



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