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4:27 p.m. - 2005-01-21
Is This Week OVER Yet?

For serious.

I think this has been one of the longest weeks ever.

This surprises me, because I have been very busy at work. I have also been going to the gym every day (sometimes twice), learning a new hobby, and going to bed early. You'd think this week would have flown by.

Not so much. It feels like it has been a year since last Friday.

Once again, I have been delivered a resounding "fuck you" from the Evil Empire. (I know. It totally sounds like I don't ever go anywhere else. I do. I promise. It's just been an Evil Spell.)

You see, last night, I decided to assemble the new desk chair I got for Christmas.

It came from the Evil Empire, because, well, it was a decent chair for a cheap price. Gotta love those sweatshops. Anyway, it had surprisingly good directions for assembly. Unfortunately, the parts depicted in the diagram did not fit together quite so smoothly in the flesh. Specifically, it was damn near impossible to attach the back of the chair to the base of the chair.

I attempt this in various ways. Finally, in desperation, I drag the chair down the hall to BFRB's apartment, and utter a variety of lines which would be more appropriate at a roofie-induced gang-bang:

"You need to hold this while I screw it."
"It keeps slipping out of the hole."
"No matter what I do, I can't screw this."

Finally, we manage to get three out of four screws correctly placed. I drag the chair back down the hall, whack it a few times in frustration, and finally get the damn thing screwed.

At this point, I'm still in my work attire, and I'm sweating like I've been at the gym for two hours. Let me tell you, those were some tight screws. And I have to go meet GID for dinner in like 30 minutes…no time for shower. Therefore, I used two Wet Ones, a hairdryer, fresh lipstick, clean clothes, and body splash in an attempt to become presentable. Worked like a charm.

In 35 minutes, this week will officially be done. I plan to do an arm workout tonight: lift glass. Drain. Repeat.




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