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9:27 p.m. - 2005-02-11
Only Slightly Less Exciting Than Watching Paint Dry
I never realized how seriously boring my life was without work.

For real.

I have been thinking that I needed to post some sort of follow-up to my shitface drunk celebration of unemployment, but really, the things that have happened in my life since then have been so...uneventful. I feel like a big flopping tool.

Well, maybe I did stuff. Like maybe I went to the mall (yes, I realize I no longer have a source of income, but hear me out) to see if I could find a suit to wear to all the job interviews I'm sure I'll be having shortly. And I was only looking at the clearance racks. I found a really cute suit-like thing for $30...but it was too big. And if I'm going with the "too big preschooler playing dress-up" look, I'll just wear the shit in my closet. Everything else was either (a) ugly (b) pink (c) petite sizes or (d) all of the above. There was one suit that was almost okay, but it had these stupid bows on it. Why? If I don't find anything else, I may have to go buy it and cut the bows off.

So then I went to a different store. And they had nice clearance racks...but they didn't have a jacket and skirt or pants to least not that were the same size. The non-clearance items were all this friffy shit with bows and sequins. I mean, I understand having SOME trendy stuff...but could we maybe have some plain stuff, too? Like maybe a nice black blazer and skirt that DON'T HAVE ANY MOTHERFUCKING RUFFLES OR BOWS OR FLOWERS OR SEQUINS OR ANY COMBINATION THEREOF?

Being unemployed is making me cranky. Obviously.

So then, being that I had not accomplished my shopping mission, and was feeling loser-like in general, I went and got some Mrs. Fields cookies. I also bought some slippers, and flip-flops, and a little brooch. I'll look very nice in those at my interviews, I'm sure.

However, today, I decided that I was going to ignore the fact that my e-mail box is not bearing any news from the employment agencies, and I was going to attempt some productivity. I did actually go to the gym today. For several hours. I busted some ass. Hopefully, this made a small dent in the giant fat roll which resulted from the cookies. I also went to a dinner thing for a former co-worker who is getting married. They were going out after, but I just was not in the mood. First of all, I don't need to spend another $60 drinking, and I don't need to spend another day hungover as hell, either. Second of all, I was starting to feel a little depressed again.

I'm really trying to believe that this happened for a reason. I'm really trying to remember that I still have some paychecks on the way. I'm really trying to convince myself that this is not the end of the world. My mind is aware of all these things. My body, on the other hand, seems to be convinced it needs the whole bottle of prozac every day in order to function normally.

My building is very noisy during the day. One of the businesses downstairs feels the need to make these hammering noises non-stop from about 7 in the morning until sometime in the afternoon. Additionally, I believe that the couple in the house down the block must not have jobs, either, because they scream at each other in the street a lot. With my window open, I can hear the Mickey D's drive through speaker much better than their employees least judging from my experience on Wednesday morning. (Seriously. The dude got a McGriddle meal with orange juice from "sausage egg and cheese biscuit and breakfast burrito.")

The cats don't know why I'm home all day. They keep looking at me, like they can't figure out who I am and why I'm there. And they really resent having to share the bed and/or the couch.

That is all. See? I told you unemployment was more boring than watching paint dry. And now I really wish I had cable, but somehow, an added expense seems like a bad idea.



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