9:24 p.m. - 2005-05-20
This Is How You Gross Me Out.
Pink food...this includes anything strawberry flavored, ham, corned beef, pastrami, fluffy pink holiday salads, and cotton candy.
People squirting shit in their mouths. And I know what all you freaks are thinking, and yes, I mean that, but I also mean things like that scene in Dumb and Dumber when they were squirting ketchup and mustard from the bottles into their gaping maws...I seriously almost hurled.
Body odor.
Patchouli (sorry, BFRB). Actually, some BO SMELLS like patchouli.
Black licorice and black jellybeans.
Slimy food...like custard, or jell-o, or any sort of lunchmeat that has "loaf" in the title.
Juice with pulp. You shouldn't have to chew juice.
Tapioca pudding.
Dog poop.
Things crawling on me, or feeling like they are. I dated this guy once who used to do this "barely touching me" thing. You might think that romantic and sensual. It made my skin crawl.
Cheap old-lady perfume.
Plain milk...especially skim milk.
Malt-o-meal and Cream of Wheat.
Kielbasa and bratwurst.
Tomatoes.
Bananas. I didn't really like them much to begin with, but then I got the flu (I was 9). And the stupid doctor gave me this banana-flavored medicine that, no lie, had CHUNKS in it. It was supposed to make you stop chucking. Well, I guess I stopped, after I had spewed forth everything I'd eaten for the last three weeks.
Couples that suck face in public, or baby talk, or openly grope one another.
The smell of cooking cabbage.
Tequila shots.
Jagermeister.
(Mix the above two, and you have a shot called a "Vomit Pig". Yep. Pretty accurate description.)
Sleazy guy tricks.
Cauliflower.
Nasty toenails.
Tongue piercings. (I'm sure some of you have them. And I've really tried not to be disgusted. I've actually heard they are fun in the sexual sense, which I'm sure is true. But watching someone spit that thing in and out from between their teeth for hours just makes me wanna hurl.)
Dipping.
Spitting.
Sour candy.
Gargling salt water.
Liposuction.
Cold coffee.
Hot tea.
Can we all tell it has been a long week? I'm sure I'll vent about it shortly, but right now, Loopy is brain dead on a stick.
NT, I promise I will pick up your baton shortly, too.
In the meantime, I believe I will ingest some sort of intoxicant and go to bed.
