Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

8:50 p.m. - 2005-07-11
Stash This in Your Sack.
Well, hi.

To say that the last 10 days have been a little crazy would be like saying that Hitler was slightly racist, or that Siberia is slightly cold, or that Tom Cruise is slightly gay. An understatement, in other words.

I got laid off ... again.

I now have a temp job. From hell, as most temp jobs are wont to be. How did this happen so fast, you ask? It's all TM's fault. See, she is temping at this freak pit too. And when I sent out the e-mail on June 30th explaining to all my friends that sending e-mails to my work address would henceforth be inadvisable, she e-mailed back and said they needed someone. Permanently. So I think, oh, what the fuck, and e-mail the resume which was conveniently on my computer at work.

An hour later, her supervisor calls me and sets up an interview for the following morning.

Basically, this company is acting as a court-appointed receiver for this other company. The other company has a former president/CEO who is now serving a federal sentence for fraud. The company for which I am working is trying to get these peoples' money back, while skimming a healthy percentage of administrative expenses off the top.

The problems, to date, are thus:

1. The receiver's staff has been rather transient.
2. The files from the original company are fucked.
3. The person originally hired to build a database for the claims of the investors was a moron.
4. The person processing the claims is a Stupid Trashy-Ass Skanky Ho (hereinafter "STASH") without the faintest clue.
5. The other staff member is a Smart-Ass College Kid (hereinafter "SACK").
6. Jesus's right-hand woman, from my former job, worked there for a while too.
7. One of the receiver's the law firm from which I was twice laid off. Actually, this in itself is not a problem, as it's a good firm. The problem is what stupid shit they are being sent.

What do they want from me?

1. To actually read the files, send out letters for what is missing, and figure out exactly who the owners of some of the investments are.
2. To determine which files really need to be sent to the attorneys.
3. To actually churn some shit out and get some of the claims processed.

They would love me to work there forever. During the interview, though, they made the mistake of confessing that they do not offer basic benefits, i.e., health and dental insurance, to their employees.

Okay. First of all, this company is an INSURANCE BROKERAGE. Second of all, I just came from a big firm with lots of yummy benefits and a yummy salary. Am I going to go back to having a supervisor like STASH and taking orders from some SACK...while not getting paid crap and not getting medical benefits either? I think not.

Therefore, I made it abundantly clear that I would not be permanently working anywhere with no benefits.

The other supervisor calls to offer me a temp job after this interview.

I agonized a bit over whether to take the job or not. After all, the benefit of being laid off is that I will still be collecting my nice paycheck for the next six weeks. And sitting on my ass does sound mighty least for a little while. However, Loopy wants a car, and some new furniture, and some new and fetching I decided that greed would win out over sloth in today's game of "Name That Deadly Sin."

The rest of my life has been relatively lame, actually. I have been reading a lot. So far, the winner is Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. I also slept a lot over the weekend. And went to a housewarming party for a former co-worker.

In a way, it was a little weird and lame, because a lot of the people there were family. However, another former co-worker was there. With her husband. Who is a guy I knew WAY back in the day, that is, freshman year at OU. It was like a National Merit Stoners Scholar's Reunion. I guess he went through a rough patch, but he is doing well now...and at least the former co-worker he married is very cool. It's just always weird running into someone whose existence fits neatly into the photo album of your memory, on a page you may not really look at much anymore. Weird to reconcile the balding adult with kids with the tall, skinny, sorta dorky but cool misfit from 13 years ago.

This is why I have avoided the high school reunions. If seeing one person from a long time ago fucks with my head that much, I think I would need a team of psychiatrists after seeing a whole bunch of them at once.

Finally, a survey that someone tagged me to do. I think it was Miss Dork, but I don't absolutely remember. And no, Kiosh, I haven't forgotten your Tag-O-Rama either, but yours requires far more thought, so I'll postpone that one.

Anyway, this is the "name five things that other people think rock that you think are just flat-out lame" survey. And of course, most of my answers have been used, but I'll give it a shot...

1. New and Interesting Diet Coke Flavors. Lime, Lemon, Vanilla, Cherry, Coke Zero, Diet with about something that actually tastes good? Because right now, the only way I like any of them is with enough Jack Daniels to disguise the flavor.

2. Boxy Cars. I'm talking Honda Element-ish things. The ones that look like some kid built them in a garage. I read somewhere that they are supposed to be the poor kid's Hummer. The only way I can see that they're anything like a Hummer is that they are stupid-looking.

3. Jessica Simpson. She is a fucking moron who is not that talented, or that pretty. Further, she allowed her not pretty, not talented sister to get in on the action, and this is yet another reason to dislike her.

4. The Resurgence of 80's Fashion. Make it stop. It was bad enough the first time.

5. Magnetic Ribbons. I'm sure someone's addressed this, but really, they are lame enough that they need to be ridiculed on a daily basis until people freakin' quit putting them on their cars. A magnet does not mean you support anything other than the Chinese sweatshop laborers who made it and the enterpreneur getting rich off everyone's fake rah-rah patriotism. Plus, I don't think anyone is really not supporting the actual troops. What they may not be supporting is the war...which is not the same thing as hating the troops.

What, are you expecting some fancy wind-up sentence where I tell you how much I've learned from being laid off? Unfortunately, I learned it about three minutes into my second stint at that job. Recycling jobs and men is a bad idea.



previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!