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2:07 p.m. - 2005-07-16
Deliverance II: Journey to Taco Bueno
I have been known to make the occasional disparaging remark in re: white trash and its prevalence here in the Sooner State. I have been known to mock fashion choices, conversation subjects, and hangouts. But never, in all of my years of observing white trash in its natural habitat(s), i.e., bingo halls, Wal-Mart, laundromats, sporting goods stores, and Golden Corral, have I witnessed something like what BFRB and I saw last night at Taco Bueno.

As usual on alternate Friday nights, we were making our sacred pilgrimage to the laundromat. We went a little later, because we were planning to go to the Harry Potter release at Barnes & Noble, which isn't far from said laundromat. However, we needed nutrition first. Really, SHE needed nutrition. I ate until my stomach was distended at lunch, and really just planned on a little snack and perhaps a beverage.

Anyway, Wendy's is right next door to the laundry facility, but it's kind of icky, and they play the most bizarre music selections, and well, we're tired of it because we always end up going there just because it's convenient. BFRB pulls into the parking lot and goes, "Fuck it. I'm going to Taco Bueno." This choice had initially been rejected because it was further away.

Usually, when we decide to go to this particular Taco Bueno, the guys behind the counter are all flirty in their inimitable gangsta way, it's fast, and it's quiet.

Evidently, we'd never been there on Friday night at 9:30.

We knew when we walked in the door it was going to be bad. There was a couple waiting on food, a very weird chick (dress too short and tight, gray hair, white sandals but with those little toe-cover socks, pearl necklace, etc.) waiting, and another couple resplendent in Wranglers and some teenagers who were clearly stoned out of their minds came in behind us.

It took forever to get our food, allegedly because the drive through was busy. And our cute little flirty brothas were not there either. And then we saw the family.

There were a number of them. Several adult couples, and two young children. And I am quite sure they were all closely related to one another, in the "Happy Father's Day, Uncle Dad!" way. There was scary scrawny chick and scary scrawny husband, whose face was sunken and legs were crooked and stick-like. There was the fat bleached-hair-growing-out chick with a face that looked like someone had put her forehead and chin in a vise and squeezed, making her features all mashed together with big puffy cheeks sticking out the sides. Her man, while he LOOKED almost normal, had a vacant look in his eyes. She had left her purse sitting under the drink stand and it was the work of almost 10 minutes to figure out where it was, even after other patrons informed her that they'd found it and turned it in to the store manager.

I felt bad for those poor kids. I have no idea which couple actually sired them. The little girl had bangs that were way too short, stickly legs like the older man that turned in slightly, and crossed eyes. Her brother was just kind of washed-out looking, with a crew cut and the dirtiest t-shirt I've ever seen. I felt sorry for those kids. They were reasonably well behaved, and the little girl smiled at everyone. But it's just sad to know that they're growing up in that environment.

I have never seen anything like this in all my years of White Trash Field Observation. I have no idea from whence those people came, or why they were at that particular Taco Bueno. The area around it is somewhat run-down, but it also is near a university, and the neighborhood isn't THAT bad. I don't know if the people lived there, were visiting relatives, or what...but it was just very, very surreal seeing them.

Things stayed weird. BFRB decided that she was too insanely tired to Harry Potter, so we went home (I went back, of course, but I digress.) We stop at the Conoco where we always buy gas & cigs, since she needed some of the latter. The whole way there, we were behind this 10-year-old maroon car, going just slow enough to be irritating but not slow enough to pass. This car also pulls into the gas station....and out steps Ms. Jesus Saves. Seriously. She was wearing a bright yellow t-shirt with the slogan, a modest navy skirt, and some dark-colored sandals. Her hair was a fake ponytail. And, according to BFRB...all she bought was a large, framed picture of a rottweiler and some Ny-Quil.

I ain't even touching that.

I put my clothes away and cruised over to Barnes & Noble, seeing as how I'd had the foresight to reserve my copy, oh, last week. (I pre-ordered book 5 on Amazon, and they delivered it the day of publication, but then I saw copies everywhere and decided that our mail service lately had been far too flaky to be counting on delivery.) B & N had a bracelet system for both reserved and non-reserved copies. I was #246. It was about 11:20 when I got there, so I decided that, since I was later in the "line," a nice frappucino was in order. Clearly, the other eleventy-bazillion people there had the same idea. In line in front of me was a lesbian couple, who then met another lesbian couple. Behind me was a medical professional of some sort, his wife and daughter. Everywhere were "people in cloaks." Kids with broomsticks and temporary tattoos of lightning bolts and fake plastic glasses. When BFRB and I went to Target earlier in the evening, we saw Harry and Hermione on the X-box demonstrator.

Let me state, for the record, that I was not dressed up. I may be a bookworm, and dorky enough to GO...but I draw the line at costumes.

I have finished the book. I was up till 4, and then got up at 10 and finished it about 2 hours ago. If anyone wants to discuss, e-mail me.

Pirate Monkey's Harry Potter Personality Quiz
Harry Potter Personality Quiz
by pirate/ Monkeys Inc.

Now I'm off to see the kids' MOVIE for the weekend....mmmm. Johnny Depp. Chocolate. Life is good.



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