10:15 a.m. - 2005-10-25
Plus…I really don’t have a whole lot to say at the moment. Other than I don’t know how some people manage to obtain gainful employment, because saying they are dumb as rocks would be an insult to rocks. There’s three of these incompetent morons at my office right now. Two of them are allegedly on their way out the door as soon as (hopefully not equally useless) replacements are procured.
One is theoretically a paralegal. She’s almost my age, acts 10 years younger, and has not the foggiest clue what she’s doing. Legal files are supposed to be in reverse chronological order, separated into court documents and correspondence. This is hardly complicated. You put the old shit on the bottom and the new shit on top.
She had a problem with this.
Not to mention, she is a whiny-ass, shrieky-voiced complainer, and has very ignorant opinions on every subject. Finally, since she manages to screw everything up…we can’t give her any of our shit-work to do. Which means she’s taking up space, annoying the crap out of everyone, and I still have to do stuff I hate. Like filing, and talking to annoying clients.
The second one is our runner. She’s supposed to go do errands, file things at the courthouse, cover the phones for the receptionist occasionally, fetch supplies from the basement…things of that nature. Here’s more of her typical day:
1. Call in sick for two days with a boil on her ass (I only wish I was kidding).
The third one is a law clerk. GEB is also a law clerk at this firm, but he only comes in on Thursday and Friday when he doesn’t have class. She was supposed to be the Monday to Wednesday person.
She graduates in December, and I’m stunned at the level of stupid she displays. She has never worked in a law office, but when you tell her how to do something…she either doesn’t get it, or argues with you about it, or both. The clerks’ office is also the mail room and supply room, and it has an old computer. She bitches about this incessantly. Plus, she’s been coming in EVERY day, and she spends all day hogging the computer when GEB needs to use it…and she really does not.
Since the useless employees are not supposed to do stuff, our boss told us we could make Little Miss Law Clerk our bitch for a while. This does not require the use of a computer. It requires a working knowledge of dates and the alphabet, and a willingness to go places like the courthouse. Miss Dumb Ass, though, thinks she’s too good for that.
I have a feeling she won’t last long, either.
Oh, yes, the contest. I believe that Lando is the winner, even though he only got 2.5 correct. So, let me know if you want me to guest-star for you, or if you want to guest-star for me.
Here are the answers:
1. “She loves me, I mean it’s serious.”
I really do want to play guest entries…so I’m giving you another chance. These are EASY.
1. “Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of her Honda.”
E-mail me your answers.