10:32 a.m. - 2005-12-07
i'm supposed to talk about three of my favorite songs and their defining moments in my life. i'm not exactly going to stick to form (does anyone?) on this, and go with three songs with defining moments in my life, that arent necessarily my favorites. be it good or bad memories, all that really matters is their place and timeliness in concerns to the clusterfuck that is me.
i'm finding that most songs that jump at me are involving involvements with the fairer sex. perhaps because the 'love' emotion is so strong, and i love music so much, that the two seem to intertwine at a great many points in my timeline.
"Hey Jupiter" - Tori Amos.
this song was strange. i loved the melancholia to start because, hell, i love that crap. the memory involves my first love and a friend of mine. i was always asking to hear the girl sing (as it was what she did), with her always refusing. i'm not sure if she refused to sing for me out of embarassment or what, but in the end - long story shorter, she sang on request for a friend of mine (and only after i was not in the room). i was a little upset, somehow equating this with some sort of betrayal. i was 18, sue me. i spent half of the cold december night sitting on some cement apartment steps thinking. about how it wasnt going to work with her. about my relationships with friends. about how fucking cold it was outside and how heartbroken i was. this was the song she sang to him, and this is what i always remember when i hear it. bitter cold. literaly and figuratively.
"Feel at Home" - On.
this song seemed a catchy sing-a-long tune at first, but took on a different meaning on long day a few years back. i had met and fallen for a woman from another state. we had a short period of time together (that time) and had grown very fond of each other. i was the one who drove her to the airport so she could return home. since she had a flight out of Dallas-Fort Worth, we drove down the night before. the trip down was a pretty somber one, with neither of us wanting her to leave. we stopped at a scenic rest stop at sunset the night before, and pretty much just held each other, trying to promise we'd make it work somehow. she cried alot, and i played the optimistic supporter, even if i was hoping against hope (ok, and maybe crying a little myself. yeah, so i'm a pussy). at 5am she was on her flight home, and i was in the truck listening to this song. the lyrics seemed all the more real as i was pulling out of the airport. i didnt make it 5 miles before i started crying. this is that songs moment, and to my knowledge, it's the first time i've shared that story.
"Long Way Down" - Goo Goo Dolls.
this isnt normally a band i listen to and i just happened to kind-of like this song before this memory. i had a friend, J-9, that commited suicide a few years back. he was an amazing bass player that could play anything by ear, in a matter of seconds. he had been talking to some band people he had met the previous week, and they had talked him into coming down to a practice session of theirs. they were looking for a bass player, and he was looking to escape his mothers house for a bit. he and i were basically insperable at the time, so i got to sit in on their practice. i watched him, with no previous knowledge of this song, nail it perfectly just following someone elses leads in a storage unit somewhere in the heart of norman, oklahoma. it was a happy memory of the man (because he was happy at the time), and one much better than the one of two years later, him being on life support the night before he officially died. r.i.p. J-9, i love you.
and there they are, the three songs with defining moments in my life. also examples of my continuing devotion to throwing myself 'under the truck' emotionally on a regular basis. consider it a rare treat guys, because all i write about in my blog lately is dick and fart jokes. thanks for sharing these memories with me, and thanks to Loopy for making me sit down and write something for the first time in a month.