1:40 p.m. - 2006-01-24
We Don't Believe That Substance Is Necessary to Write an Entry.
I hate job interviews. I especially hate job interviews for fucking temp jobs. I mean, it's not like I'm going to be working for your ass forever. You can gaze upon my resume and see whether I have experience in the bullshit you want me to do for you. I can even see requesting a 10-minute meeting to make sure I don't drool or smell bad. But why must I waste an hour of my life, plus dress up, plus drive somewhere in traffic, for a job that won't even last two months?
Furthermore, why must I get a phone call telling me that yes, you do want my help, but I'm overqualified to be your run-hither-and-yon-trial-bitch, so you might just have me do some projects that, while they may result in some cash, will not be full-time nor enough to pay my bills, but will still prevent me from getting much in the way of unemployment?
That's all the actual news I have...I'm poor, so I haven't been anywhere but job interviews and the grocery store and the gas station and the gym. So, I have decided that I shall fill my entry with random silliness and hope no one notices the lack of actual content...
- Cats use their GoingLoopy to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through.
- Over 2000 people have now climbed GoingLoopy, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down!
- Research indicates that GoingLoopy will be attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
- The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than GoingLoopy.
- GoingLoopy is only six percent water!
- Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by GoingLoopy!
- Some birds use GoingLoopy to orientate themselves during migration.
- GoingLoopy cannot jump.
- Fish travel in schools, but whales travel in GoingLoopy!
- GoingLoopy has four noses.
Five Random Loopy Quirks
- When I see a BMW, particularly a black one, it makes my skin crawl. This is because all the senior partners (and some of the ass-kissing young associates) at FHH drove these, and that was a miserable period in my life, and seeing those shiny cars just pisses me off and puts me in a foul mood.
- I have not seen a single one of the movies in the following "series": The Matrix, James Bond, or Lord of the Rings. I really have no desire to see any of them, either.
- I hate hard pillows. My pillows are all down and/or feather and/or fake down, and they can all be molded and squished into new and interesting shapes in order to ensure maximum sleeping comfort. I do not understand the point of resting your head on something that feels like a rock. I feel the same way about mattresses. If I wanted to sleep on something hard, I'd sleep on the floor. My pillow-top has two featherbeds on it.
- I don't like clothing with linings....particularly skirts and pants. Jackets are okay, but if I buy a pair of pants or skirt and they are lined...I get my scissors and perform lining surgery. I even did this in the bathroom at work once...I had a new skirt, and it was kind of short, and it kept sliding up. Out came the lining. In pants, they just cling and stick and make me feel icky. I don't like slips, either...so I usually try to buy stuff that isn't see-through.
- I have noticed that most of the people to which I have an immediate adverse reaction have a certain "smell" about them. It's not a good smell...it almost seems like they haven't bathed, or something. I have tried to like a few people that had this odor, but it turned out that my initial reaction to them was the correct one.
This is a little something-something (notice I deliberately did NOT use the word "meme") floating around that I never did. Google your name with the word "needs" after it. I am using my real first name, but substituting "Loopy", because, well, I can.
1. Loopy needs a quivering antennae.
2. Loopy needs to be on top of the details of her job.
3. Loopy needs a hug.
4. Loopy needs to be part of a loving, committed marriage.
5. Loopy needs to shut up and face the nation.
6. Loopy needs to wake the fuck up.
7. Loopy needs a helping hand.
8. Loopy needs to prepare and think about a hundred different things.
9. Loopy needs friction massage.
10. Loopy needs expensive treatment for the post-traumatic stress that's turned her nearly catatonic.
And finally, this is a more recent little fun thingy that has been making the rounds (I've seen it from Clarity, RDC, and Jenn thus far...)
You go here, upload a photo, and it tells you which celebrites your face "matches."
My top two, with this photo:
Meg Ryan and Whoopi Goldberg?
I always knew I was a complete weirdo. This just confirms it. Other choices were Sofia Coppola, Chelsea Clinton, Faye Dunaway, and Mariah Carey. I tried other pictures, and got such varied results as Sigourney Weaver, John Travolta, Hilary Duff, Hilary Clinton, and Christina Ricci.
That is some funny shit.
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