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2:17 p.m. - 2006-05-19
\"Hello, Darlin. Nice to See You. It's Been a Long Time...\"
I hate it when I don�t update for a while�

See, if I update (semi) regularly, ya�ll know what triviality has happened in my life. You know about me seeing the interracial midget couple at Wal-Mart again. You know that Mr. Stinky-Scratchy-Snorty at work still annoys me. You know that I saw a car with a license plate that said �IMSPECL�. And you would know that I have spent stupid amounts of time playing World of Warcraft lately.

Any one of those things could be an entry. Or part of one. But I just haven�t felt in touch with my Inner Snarkette lately. Sure, she comes out to play once in a while, like this morning, and bitches about:

~The idiot group of 30 bike-racers attempting to get run over by city buses so their families can collect insurance practice their racing in morning downtown traffic.

~The parking card which was IN MY CAR CONSOLE yesterday at 6:25 when I finally left work and has somehow vanished this morning, which means I will have to (a) dig through the car to find it when I leave and (b) convince the parking chick that I really don�t need to pay the hourly rate, even though the little ticket I had to take this morning to make the damn gate open SAYS I do.

~The lawyer who gives me a presentation to revise that says things like �can you make this look pretty?�

~TD calling asking for directions to something downtown, and then a �by the way, we�re going to see DaVinci Code tonight, right?� No, we�re not. First, I have a ginormous seething pile of laundry to do, and second, I�m going with Lando this weekend.


So anyway, speaking of Lando. He mentioned this in his blog, but left it up to me to tell the actual story of (dun-dun-dun-dunnnnnnh) meeting his family.

I�m not usually the kind of person who gets nervous about meeting new people. Maybe I was, once upon a time, but after going on countless job interviews and being dragged to countless parties with people I don�t know, I thought I had gotten over that shit.

WRONG, SUCKAH.

First, his family has been bugging him about me ever since he blew off hanging out with his sister when I was there.

Second, they are a *little* on the religious side.

Third�they are his family. I mean, yeah. I met the former GID�s mom and brother�but that�s ONLY BECAUSE HE LIVED AT HER HOUSE. That was an accident. It wasn�t a �family dinner on purpose� thing. It wasn�t an inspection.

I knew that his dad, stepmother (it was her birthday), sister, brother-in-law, and gay uncle were going to be there. What I did not know is that his great-aunt was going to be there. This is she of the disparaging comments about fat people wanting food, the one Lando doesn�t like, blah blah blah. He didn�t know she was going to show up, either.

I guess I should have expected the �how did you meet?� question, but somehow, I guess I thought he already covered that and was taken off guard. I let Lando decide how much he wanted to tell�I mean, those of my real-life friends who I force to read this blog know what�s up, but some of my real life friends are not aware of LoopySpace�so they get the one-word answer �online.� He actually semi-mentioned blogging, which was brave.

For the most part, his family seemed very nice�even the aunt actually smiled and made conversation with me. However, I really had an uncomfortable moment when she started talking to Lando�s sister and asked if she was wearing her �fat pants.�

Lando�s sister is not fat.

I was internally going �well, fuck me, and here I am about to order a steak and really enjoy the shit out of it, too, and eat my salad and potato and this is on top of Cinco de Mayo food day at work, which I really didn�t mean to eat like a piggy but OH MY GOD one of these chicks at work made some sopapilla casserole thing with cinnamon and pastry and cream cheese and I just couldn�t fucking make myself stop and he may not actually hear her make the hateful comments later but his sister will and she�ll tell him and�.�

At least from what I was told, she said I was pretty. Maybe it�s because I�m not a relative.

Anyway, it really wasn�t as bad as I thought it was going to be after I spent three days obsessing about what to wear and what to say.


I know I�m not done, but more stories would involve discussion of my 32nd birthday, and that�s another two pages, and I really do sorta have to get some work done this afternoon instead of just pretending by sounding all industrious with the typing.

I promise I won�t wait this long next time. Pinky swear.

 

 

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