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9:27 a.m. - 2005-02-09
I Have Beads...But I Don't Have a Job.
Yesterday....was surreal.

10:30 a.m. Receive e-mail from office administrator to entire staff of our floor, informing us of a meeting at 11:15. The attorneys working on our project were cc'd on the e-mail.

10:45 a.m. Smoke break to bandy about rumors of the subject of the meeting.

11:00 a.m. Discussion with former office mate concerning subject of the meeting. She says she has a bad feeling about it. We all did.

11:15 a.m. Meeting, wherein we are told that, due to budget cuts from our client, most of us will no longer have jobs. They don't announce who is staying or going, but they hand each of us an envelope which contains our fate.

11:25 a.m. Open envelope and discover am now unemployed.

11:30 a.m. E-mail BFRB and inform her that the universe is sincerely fucked up, because now we're both unemployed at the same time. (She was laid off last week.)

11:35 a.m.-3:00 p.m. Clean out desk, load stuff in car, send e-mail to everyone I know telling them that as of 5 p.m., they shouldn't send e-mails to my office address, draft memo to boss regarding status of files, give memo to boss, turn in time sheet and building access card, answer e-mails from everyone I know about my lack of job, etc. Realize that my one-year anniversary was Friday, so I will get paid for two weeks of vacation in addition to a month of severance.

3:30 p.m. Leave office, return home. Call BFRB2. Answer more e-mails.

4:15 p.m. Leave for bar with BFRB.

4:30 p.m. Arrive at bar. Realize it's Mardi Gras. Realize I knew that, because I saw it on TV at the gym at 6:00 this morning. Further realize that a number of my former co-workers are at bar, and have been there since 3.

5:00 p.m. Have downed two drinks already.

5:30-9:00 p.m. Proceed to get stinking drunk, along with rest of crew. BFRB was even more wasted than I was. The time is a little fuzzy, but some things that happened:

~BFRB met some employees of an IT firm, and we collected business cards in an attempt to convince them to give us jobs.

~We all do some shots. Red-headed sluts, I believe they're called. Hey, they're named after me!! Hehehe.

~Pool was played.

~Phone numbers and e-mail addresses were exchanged with former co-workers.

~BFRB attempted to convince everyone in bar to join us at Bonnaroo in June.

~Former co-worker's 18 year old son is kicked out of downstairs bar for lack of ID. He leaves for a while, then comes back and goes upstairs.

~We all go upstairs.

~We all drink some more.

~BFRB knocks a bunch of shit over...barstools, drinks, etc.

~Somehow, we end up with beads. I think I flashed the bartender.

~IT guys attempt to convince us to join them at next bar.

~Former co-worker attempts to hook up her 19-year-old sister with other co-worker's 18-year-old son.

~Discussion of application for unemployment benefits.

~Discussion of how fucked up the universe is and why we're both unemployed...and further, why we're not stressing very hard about this.

~As we're leaving, 18-year-old follows us out. BFRB proceeds to paste the mack on him. I end up with her keys, because I'm the lesser of two drunks. I have to honk at her to get her to quit sucking face with the child.

~We drive home very carefully. I repeatedly ask BFRB if I am, in fact, staying between the lines.

9:30 p.m. Somehow, we get to our apartment building. BFRB falls in the foyer, and I pick her up. We stagger up the stairs and into her apartment. I leave my purse there, which I have not the slightest memory of doing.

9:35 p.m. I go back to my apartment. I somehow manage to put on my PJ's. I locate my bed and fall in it. I hear the phone ring, and decide that there is no fucking way that I will be answering it.

6:00 a.m. Wake up. Still drunk. Lay in bed for a while, talking to my kitties about being jobless.

7:00 a.m. BFRB e-mails. She's up too. Still drunk. She doesn't remember the 18-year-old snogging, or me driving home. She states that her apartment is a disaster, there are clothes everywhere, and her heater is broken. I check my caller ID, and realize that a shitload of people called last night. I really must have been unconscious.

7:30 a.m. BFRB fixes heater. I locate and update my resume.

8:00 a.m. E-mail resume to placement agency.

8:10 a.m. BFRB and I decide we must have food. We further decide that it must come from McDonalds, which is conveniently located right next door to our apartments. We plan to do the drive through, due to our chosen ensembles, which consist of sweaters, sweatshirts, pajama pants, tennis shoes, and slippers.

8:12 a.m. BFRB's car door is frozen shut. We get in my car and proceed to Mickey D's. At the drive through, we discover that my WINDOW is frozen shut. I open the door and attempt to order. The drive thru guy is pushing buttons at random, which have no resemblance to what I said. We finally tell him we'll just go inside.

8:20 a.m. Order breakfast. BFRB takes 8 years to open the salsa packet for her breakfast burrito. We are laughing so hard about our outfits, our drunken adventures, our lack of job, and the salsa packet that it takes almost 30 minutes to finish breakfast. We almost snorted hash browns through our nose. It was that bad.

9:00 a.m. Arrive back home.

Seriously. That was the weirdest day ever. But if anyone knows of any jobs, wherever they may be, feel free to e-mail.

In the meantime, I plan to enjoy my day off. Fuck it.



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