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9:13 p.m. - 2006-06-21
\"I Feel Summer Creepin' In and I'm Tired of this Town Again\"
Once again, BFRB and I decided to get our hippie on and make a pilgrimage to Manchester, Tennessee, for the Roo.

However, unlike last year, we actually had fun from day one. Here's a picture of us driving to the Roo:

We stopped for some food at a random A&W. They had a vending machine that dispensed Happy Bunny suction cup window thingies. Well, being that I loves me some Happy Bunny, I of course put my quarters in and got this, which is funny considering it was a girls-only trip:

(It came out kind of blurry, and it blew away when we were setting up our tent, so I couldn't get another picture. *sniff* It says "boys are funny when they try to think.")

For those who followed last year's adventures, you will recall that we, being morons, decided to agree to a 2 am Wal-Mart meetup with a bunch of people, which meant we drove all night, which meant we got zero sleep. This year, we said fuck a bunch of that, and stopped at the Motel 6 for a good night's rest and one last shower.

On Thursday morning, we drove the rest of the way to Manchester, and began the process of realizing that the extra $375 we shelled out for VIP tickets this year was worth every last cent. This is the line of the unwashed masses heading into the general gate:

We had no such line. We picked up our wristbands, parking pass, free poster, free t-shirt, and free CD at the Holiday Inn as directed in our secret VIP file, and proceeded to the VIP very little waiting gate. Upon arrival at our campsite, we discovered another perk: SPACE. Granted, it's not like we had an acre to ourselves, but we could (a) open the car door without hitting the next car; (b) set up our tent; (c) walk to the bathroom without having to trip over 97 tie-down lines and 48 cars.

Further...the bathrooms in VIP kicked some serious ass. Rather than the disease-ridden third-world portapotties (or the trees) from last year, these were actual RV-style toilets with stall doors and sinks. The sinks had soap. And lotion. And paper towels. What's more, there were attendants camping next to the potty trailers to ensure that no one in VIP had a bad bathroom experience.

It kept getting better. VIP had a hospitality tent, which was air-conditioned, had a catered buffet all weekend, and offered free beer on Thursday night. (We also got a special performance by a comedian and the Rebirth Brass Band.) One guy we hung out with said that they might as well offer free fellatio, as well, because that was the only thing that could make it better.

As we were sitting in the nice cool tent sucking down the first of many free beers, we realized that we had smiled more in the preceding five hours than we had the entire time we were at the Roo last year. Of course, who could smile when you had to live in this environment?

Seriously. That picture was taken on the street leading to last year's campsite, because we made ourselves walk down there. Ewww.

BFRB and I concluded that, in order to have a happy fun Roo experience, you need the following:

1. The Magic Wristbands!

2. Lots of water. (And free beer.)

3. Shade.

4. Sunglasses and comfy flip-flops.

5. Rubber shoes in case of rain, glow bracelets, cigs, backpack, blankie to sit on.

See? This stuff worked. Note the actual presence of smiles...and for that matter, note our actual presence in photographs. Last year, I think the only pictures of either of us were a shot of my butt and a shot of my leg, which were by accident when we were photographing other things.

Since this year's Roo was as different from last year's as Hitler is from Martin Luther King, Jr., I'm not going to tell the story in chronological order. That's boring anyway. Instead, the next entries will focus on (and I don't know what order yet...there has to be SOME element of suspense here, peeps): the sights, the sounds, and the crazy stories.

Stay tuned!



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