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10:29 a.m. - 2004-12-13
100 Entries Later, and I'm Still Being Random.
I have started to write an entry several times, but have discarded each and every attempt. You see, this is my 100th entry, and I wanted it to be really deep and meaningful and reflective.

Fuck that.

Therefore, I decided that I'm going to tell some stories from my weekend which briefly touch on some of my standard diary themes….

This Ghetto Life
BFRB and I were once again on the way to the Evil Empire. And we see this car. It's an old Chevy-Nova-esque automobile, with the original slightly worn-out black paint job. However, it's been pimped. It featured a racing stripe (those double ones) in a lovely shade of bright yellow…that only covered the trunk section of the car. It had a spoiler. And one of those vent things on the hood. And…FLAMES. Lots of pretty yellow flames. All over the car. Remember, now, that this car MIGHT have a four-cylinder engine. It was driven by some big-ass guy in a big-ass cowboy hat that hadn't quite figured out the location of the gas pedal yet. Seriously. Going 20 mph would have been a major accomplishment.

Drinking with the Girlz

BFRB2 hosted a party on Saturday night. We all drank WAY too much. I informed her that I was going to crash. We bust out the pipe and turn on Bad Santa. About 10 minutes into the movie, JS calls. She was on her way home, and told us that while she was stopped at a light, a guy in the car next to her flips on his dome light, arches his pelvis, and wags his weenie at her.

BFRB2 and I almost fell off the couch, we were laughing so hard.


On the way home from BFRB2's house, I decide to stop at Ross Dress for Less. I have never seen so many miserable, unhappy people in one place before. Of course, there was a huge line at the checkout. And the mother-daughter team in front of me, sporting matching velour track suits, are having an argument…the woman behind me is glaring from underneath her way-too-peach foundation and way-too-darkly-dyed hair and clutching her cart like someone's going to take it away. Another woman, younger, was banging each item on the counter and looking exceedingly pissed off. It was like Ross was just a swirling vortex of negative energy. I did, however, manage to score a pair of nice pants for $2.99, so it wasn't a wasted trip.

Weight Loss

Haven't been to the gym since Friday. Ate like a little piggy this weekend. My only excuse is that I was either (a) stoned or (b) hung over. Everyone knows you need mini-cupcakes and grilled cheese when you're baked, and everyone knows that combating the morning-after-Jack-headache requires chicken fried steak, eggs, and biscuits and gravy. And everyone REALLY knows that after you buy a ton of food at the Evil Empire, you need to go eat at Taco Bueno on the way home. Furthermore, our weigh-in for the Total Body Challenge is this weekend, and then the Y is closed for TWO WEEKS for renovations. Great. Sure, we can use another Y…but they're all so far AWAY. Working out requires enough energy without having to exert some to locate and familiarize yourself with a new facility. However, I am going to make an effort to overcome the excesses of the weekend with strenuous diet and exercise this week. (Don't you see the light reflecting from my halo??)

Boys Are Stupid.

Things with GID are all weird and awkward right now. I don't know what's causing it…but I don't like it at all. It just seems like I am constantly being reminded that we are in completely different places in our lives. Granted, he's grown up a lot since I've known him, but just about the time he surprises me in a good way, he follows it up with another rant or pronouncement about some alleged conspiracy by the medical or dental or financial field, and refuses to view things any differently. Eventually, sometimes, he will come around, but why the hell does it have to require so much fucking effort on my part? Really. All I want is regular booty and perhaps the occasional date. It shouldn't be difficult. If he would just NOT BE ANY GOOD, I would have dumped him months ago….I suppose I'll just have to get what I need from the situation, and ignore the rest. Which I do, most of the time. It's just after an excruciating attempt at normal conversation, sometimes, I just get irritated.

And, I believe I am getting the "he's not that into you" vibes from the other guy I've been talking to….sigh.

I should just forget about the boys for a while….seems like it's getting to be more trouble than it's worth.


Michael Moore's blog had an interesting essay by another friend of his, which equates the current administration with an abuser (in the domestic-violence sense), and the democratic party with the person who tries to please and mollify the abuser in an attempt to gain their approval (instead of just striking out on their own and getting away from the craziness.) It made a lot of sense.

Holidays and Why I Hate Them

At the party, one of the girls was talking about her remote-controlled, pop-up Christmas tree. Apparently, you pop it out of the reusable box and push a button. It springs to life, fully decorated.

Granted, this is a major time-saving advance. But to me, it just says that all the holidays have become is a raft of expectations on a sea of apathy. I thought the whole point of decorating a tree and putting up lights and buying presents was to make you feel happy…the fun in the tree-decorating was always getting all the ornaments out of their tissue wrapping in the battered cardboard boxes and marveling at the tacky shit you made when you were in preschool, the gaudy, glittering ornaments your parents bought in the 70's, laughing at the battered ones the cat tried to eat, and getting misty-eyed when you see your favorite one with Mickey Mouse from when you were 6.

The way I look at it, if you don't feel the holiday spirit, you shouldn't have to pretend. You shouldn't feel obligated to dig out a bunch of decorations and buy a bunch of shit and act all festive, when what you really want to do is take your three-day weekend and become reacquainted with your Inner Slug. As an added bonus, if everyone decided that holidays were bogus, the entire economy would have to be restructured. And I would never have to see any more creepy plastic reindeer and donkeys at the Evil Empire.


People Googled some amusing shit this weekend to find me:

(1) "Men don't like fat women"
(2) The ever-popular "Jewel Quest"
(3) The also ever-popular "drop it like it's hot"
(4) "Laundromat etiquette and rules"

-and, my favorite-

(5) "Neurotic misery."

Okay, kids, must be attempting to accomplish something work-related today, so that will conclude today's collection of random crap.

HEHEHEHE. I really just need more coffee and nicotine, but I thought I'd pretend.



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