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10:09 p.m. - 2005-12-08
Just another guest writer
You'd think I'd have the whole guest writing thing down by now. I'd stroll in all confident, light up a cigarette and approach the microphone.

But every time I'm faced with an invitation, I get all nervous. Especially since It's the final day of the guest week, and everyone is just waiting for GoingLoopy to return. I bet you clicked the glowing red buddy name and sighed when you saw it was just another guest

This is also particularly nerve-wracking because Goingloopy wrote two amazing entries for my journal. Here and Here. They were insightful, witty and intelligent. There is no way I can measure up. So guess what? I'm not even going to try.

That's right, you heard me. I'm not even going to try.

I feel better now.

Oh, this is Clarity by the way. You probably don't know me, so I'll give you the basic run down.

Artist, American, live in Germany, eat sushi.

Yeah, I'm getting lazier and lazier with the description - but I included a visual. I love Loopy's place because I can smoke and curse here. This is also where all the cool people hang out. I also love Loopy...but I'm not going to get into all the reasons right now because...

There's an actual topicfor this entry and I really have to get on it already before everyone falls asleep.

So here it is:

"Name your three favorite songs and describe a defining moment or memory associated with each of them."

Song number 1# - Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve

The first time I heard this song, I was sitting with Eric (My husband) on the balcony of my Dorm housing back when I was we were in Art college.

We were drinking beer and just talking to each other. We had been best friends for 3 years, and inseparable through out our university experience. From where we sat, we had a view of the parking light and it was late evening. We were laughing about something and I almost knocked over my beer.

He quickly reached out to grab it at the same time that I did, and our hands were touching. He didn't pull back. He just looked at me.

I remember a car drove into the parking lot and "Bittersweet Symphony" was blasting out of it. It parked across the street, and kept playing that song with the windows down.

I remember realizing fully at that moment that I loved Eric. I really enjoyed the feeling of his hand over mine, more than I expected. the street light illuminated only half of Eric's face and I gazed into his clear green eyes. I knew that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I just knew it. Something was changing in our relationship, I felt it...

We came so close to kissing for the first time, but then my roommate entered the balcony

...and the song stopped playing.

After that, the song became OUR song. He bought me the CD single and we played it all the time. A month later we had our first kiss. 2 years later he proposed.

At our wedding we hired the organist to play "Bittersweet Symphony" instead of the traditional wedding march.

I was so nervous before I entered the church. This was the moment captured on film

It appears I accidentally cropped out my head when I scanned the photograph. oops. *innocent shrug*

Anyhow that is me in the center, the flower bouquets were created by my best friend. It was all daisies with a single white rose in the center. To the left of me is my mother, that's her arm reaching out to take my youngest sister's hand. (My little sister was my flower girl). To the right of me is my close friend/roommate Celine. She was one of my bridesmaids. See how my hand is clenching my dress. I was trembling.

When I entered the church, the first chords of "Bittersweet symphony" began. Eric and I gazed at each other from across the church. I smiled. He smiled. Then we both started crying...

I remember the song playing while I walked down the aisle and joined him.

It was the happiest moment of my life

Right now, over three years later...We couldn't be happier.


Song 2# - Take a walk on the wild side - Lou Reed

When I was 17 I experienced my first love, His name was Jim.

You never forget your first love. It stays with you because it's the first time you really open your heart to someone outside of your family. It's the first time you allow your guard down, show your vulnerability and learn to trust. It changes your perspective, it gives you a reason to wake up in the morning. It sets the path for future relationships.

I had a very difficult time in my teenage years and Jim was there for me.

We used to drive around town in his Volkswagen beetle and blast Lou Reed from his tape player.

I remember so many times sitting in his beetle at night, smoking clove cigarettes and listening to "Take a walk on the wild side". We parked in front of the lake around the corner from my house and just talked. I felt like my whole life was ahead of me and those moments I truly treasure. He gave me something I didn't have before...

Confidence in myself. He told me I could achieve anything in life and during those moments, listening to that song I believed it.

Every time I hear that song I think of Jim.

He passed away 5 years ago.

But his memory still lives on and that song always makes me smile, sometimes through tears. but I'm smiling. He wouldn't want it any other way.

I truly love that song, I can close my eyes and get lost in it.


Now I was going to continue on to explain "Where is my Mind" By the Pixies But I'm running out of time. It was a dumb story anyway.

So I'm going to completely switch it around and tell you one song that I have a bad memory with and that I despise.

Song 3# "Another day in Paradise" - Phil Collins

I used to like this song because of the beautiful message, but now I can't listen to it without cringing, and wincing.

Why? Read here.

...and that's all for now.

Thank you, Loopy, for letting me drop by. I'll clean up the beer bottles and empty the ash tray on the way out. :)



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